And now Ladies and Gentlemen a carol sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme. Four and twenty Blackbirds baked in a pie. To round off our Christmas Horror D’oeuvres. All together now!!!!!

Sing a song of Christmas there’s presents I must buy.

 Sing a song of Christmas someone has to die.

I need lots of money, and I don’t have a job.

 So I found a rich old man, someone I can rob.

  Sing a song of Christmas a sharp knife at his throat.

 Sing a song of Christmas on his own blood he will choke.

I’ll have lots of money, oh how my kids will sing.

We all love you mummy for buying us nice things.

Sing a song of Christmas the old man’s long since dead.

 Sing a song of Christmas the police know what I did.

 There’s no use me pretending, they’ve got me bang to rights.

 Now my necks for hanging and my kids won’t have a mum.

Sing a song of Christmas, good cheer to one and all.

 Sing a song of Christmas when your backs against the wall.

 You’ll all wish for money, and presents under the tree.

But swinging from the gallows, is all that’s left of me.

Merry Christmas everyone. Unless you have something unpleasant in mind.